It’s 6a.m. & all I can think about it’s cake.
I’m completely restless when I have to get up at 10, but bby is sleeping soundly so at least one of us will be slightly rested for today’s adventures.
Yesterday, I bought bby & family dinner; longanisa & rice, a giant bottle of Calpico for bby’s baby sister Nikki, almond jello, & the tiger cake that I can’t stop thinking about. I made mom* happy so I feel v v happy.
The sun is up & I just want another slice of cake.
If I move too fast, I feel like I need to throw up.
It’s 7a.m. & I haven’t slept all night.
I hate waking up to a dirty kitchen & an empty house…. When I don’t have time to clean it, I get blamed even though some people are home all day.
Last night some guy gave me weed because I gave him a cigarette. So there’s that.
I over cooked my bacon this morning. I guess I should get ready for work now.
Listening to Tame Impala & Beach House.
Punishing myself mentally for tonight.
Yes, it is 11:35 and I’m eating thin mints & listening to Nsync.
I’m a princess, ok.
I feel ugly & want to be naked
Dedicated.girlfriend award goes to me; I got out of bed after I showered & got I’m my pjs because bby wanted me to join her out tonight jk this morning so here I am 1:38 a.m. fully make-upped & dressed BECAUSE I LOVE MY BBY AND DON’T YOU EVER DOUBT THAT JESSI!!
I dyed my hair black again & my extensions too. Everything is sore & I hate everyone because surprisingly dying extensions really fucking sucks.
I want macaroni & to not have to go to work tomorrow & be naked & have sex. K.
Day, like…3 feeling really emotionally messed up. I almost cried several times today & I still have no idea why.
Can I just have a beer to cry into, that would make life a lot easier to deal with right now.